Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Happy Easter

May you remember Jesus
and eat lots of candy.
Because if Jesus were here,
I'm sure he'd eat some too.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Modern Family

"I feel like I ate the SUN!"

Other fabulous quotes HERE.

Truly a hysterical, laugh out loud, quirky, charming,
completely endearing show.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

They Said What?

Chloe ~trying to follow me in the bathroom only to be stopped by me shutting the door~:  When you're done in the potty, you can come and see me.
Marla:  Alrighty then.

Jake:  Want to play my video game?
Marla:  ~Making a face~
Reva:  Honey, Marla doesn't like video games.
Jake:  ~Obviously ruffled~ Well you're not going to be my Aunt!
Isaiah:  Jesus
Marla:  Oh my gosh he just said Jesus!
Reva:  ~Eye roll~

PS Guys, he really did say Jesus. Pinky swear.  Ask Him, He'll tell you. He and Zayah are tight.

Monday, March 22, 2010

What Works... and What Doesn't

I've been in a few awkward moments in my life where I've not been able to stop laughing.  Pretty sure it's happened to almost all of us.  You get in a situation where you are surrounded by seriousness, and all of a sudden and completely out of nowhere, you lose it.  And there's no hiding it.  It's out there in the open for all to see and there's no turning back. 

I wonder if Jana remembers the time where we had to play a piano duet in sacrament meeting.  Somehow during the song, I lost my place or missed a note and found it weirdly funny.  Which in turn, caused Jana to start laughing and by that point we were egging each other on and the hysteria mounted.  The Bishop and counselors were less than 2 feet away, the audience wouldn't be able to miss our bouncing up and down and ridiculous facial expressions.  We finished the song by some miracle and I remember thinking never again would I feel like I could die in one moment over something so absolutely ridiculous. 

Yet there were times before when this type of thing had happened.  Three words:  modern dance recital.  This reminds me of the quote from What about Bob -- there are two kinds of people in this world, those who like Neil Diamond and those who don't.  Instead of Neil Diamond, let us insert the words 'modern dancing'. Point taken?  I hope so. 

This particular dance studio was set up so that the audience was all on one side, facing the dancers.   I was with my friend and my lovely mother, and we were very near the front.  One of the "dancers" came out in this blue leotard, ran across the stage and with an atrocious expression picked up a phone and answered it, while dancing. 

That was the turning point -- the point when mild chuckling to myself turned into gasping for air and choking sounds, ending with me losing the well-fought battle. 

My mother, seeing that I was fully out of control, spoke sternly and rather robustly under her breath. The words "GET A GRIP" floated into the audience and settled around me.  Normally, the voice of my mother would make me stop laughing, but the entire area around me seemed to overhear her saying this to me and a ripple of laughter emitted from the audience.  Not only could I not get a handle on my emotions but I now had 20 people seeing me get in trouble from my mommy.  And the floodgates opened a little wider.

The recital could not get over fast enough.  Needless to say our exit was swift and necessary.

So.  What to do when you're in a situation like this?  I found a few entertaining things online that just might do the trick. 

Use reverse psychology on yourself. By telling yourself something like, "This is funny! Laugh some more!" you end up finding what ever you were laughing at not funny any more.

Open your mouth wide and let the laughter out silently without smiling; this may look odd but it works.


But the funniest part was the "warnings".  Who knew there was danger in trying to stop laughing in a critical moment.  Maybe by posting this, I will save some lives.

Laughing at other people (particularly strangers) can make them quite angry. If you feel the urge to laugh at someone who is trying to be serious with you, use any and all of the techniques above to avoid laughing. The pain you save may be your own (especially if you laugh at someone you don't know well). Most people are able to deal with being laughed at, but some are very sensitive about it.  READ: your seminary teacher.
Although holding your breath (as mentioned above) can help in some situations, it will literally make you burst out laughing (very loudly) and you won't be able to cover it up if you don't manage not to laugh at all. Holding your breath is a double-edged sword and you should keep that in mind. READ: blowfish cheeks - what goes in must go out.

If you are unable to stop laughing (or crying) uncontrollably at inappropriate times, a neurological disorder, caused by injury or illness in the brain, may be the cause. A million people suffer from this embarrassing problem, which can have serious social consequences. Pseudobulbar affect can sometimes be treated with medication. See a neurologist.  READ: I've got to meet someone who has this disorder and sit next to them in church.

Do not bite down on your lip, tongue, or cheek too hard. It may cause damage.  READ:  Duh.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

His Little Big Belly

This is my baby.  His name is Isaiah. Or Zayah.
Or Zaybuzz (nicknamed lovingly by Jake).
Here is a side view of his belly.  It makes me smile.

Sometimes, in the right light, you can see a touch of redness
in his baby soft hair (though Reva won't ever admit it). 
He loves to run, full force, into my arms. 
It nearly knocks the wind out of me every time.  Because you see, 
this little boy... isn't so little.

His new thing, as of late, is to crawl into end of Reva's bed and just hang out. 
It must be comfortable, or maybe it just gives his belly a rest.

In church, he loves to run away from Jeff.  It's a little game
he plays.  It's called 'See if you can make it to the Bishop on the
stand'.  Jeff always grabs him just in time.
This usually happens on an average of 7 times during
a sacrament meeting.  Each time, he comes back in Jeff's arms
with a big proud smile that says 'I'll get farther next time'.

On Sunday, I was holding Isaiah. 
I had his little cheek pressed to mine and I looked at Jeff and said "I can't believe he's letting me hold him like this for so long".  Jeff takes one look at how he's nearly slipping out of my arms and says "I think he's just holding on".

Friday, March 5, 2010

Of Happy Meals & Star Wars

So I'm eating my happy meal last night with the kids and I look in the bag to find my prize (the most important part of the whole meal isn't it?) and got really excited because, oh my gosh, it's was a Star Wars ship!  You know, the big grey thing...

So Jeff looks up to see what I'm so excited about and he says to me

"Yeah, it's the Millenium Falcon".

and Marla starts laughing while chewing with her mouth open and says: 

"...Excuse me?  Did you just dork out for a minute there?  Do you actually know what the ship's NAME is?  Seriously?"

And Jeff gives me Marla a look that says she is from Mars (or should I say Venus because supposedly that's where women come from) and retorts

"Doesn't everybody know that?"

So guys, I gotta know, is this common knowledge to everyone who's seen Star Wars? 

Do tell.  I really wanna know.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

What Men Think of Twilight

Below is an email that I received yesterday from my sister Jana that made me spit out my gum.  **Warning: (say, for example, you are my mother):  If you have sensitive eyes, you might want to skip the picture and the word t*sticle below. 

So, Logan my coworker, is just starting to read Twilight and she is addicted...she is so excited about it and I guess while over lunch she was reading so she called her boyfried Kyle to tell him how good it was and that he should read the books too and he said, he would rather read an autobiography on his left testicle.

I can't make this stuff up people, can't make it up.

Monday, March 1, 2010

All About Jana

1 What is Jana's middle name?
a) Christmas
b) Noel
c) Superstar
d) Lee
e) Ann

2 What does Jana do to annoy Marla the most?
a) Makes fun of her chewing
b) Makes fun of her cooking
c) Disses her on FaceBook ALL the time
d) Steals her twinkies
e) Tries to steal her boyfriends

3 What would Jana rather eat?
a) Twinkie
b) Dole whip
c) Pickles with syrup
d) Nibbs
e) Oreos

4 How many closets of clothes does Jana have?
a) 1
b) 2
c) 3
d) 4
e) 5

5 How many times have Jana and Marla made fun of their dad?
a) 1
b) 0
c) 259+
d) 10
e) 3

6 When Jana grows up, she wants to be...
a) Nice to Marla
b) A fireman
c) A monkey trainer
d) A sandwich artist
e) Touring with Miley Cyrus

7 What does Jana love the most? (out of the following categories)
a) Dancing
b) Cupcakes
c) Music
d) Kayaking
e) Swimming

8 Where does Jana vacation with her family?
a) Hawaii
b) Florida
c) Minnesota
d) California
e) Utah

9 What color is Jana choosing for her wedding?
a) purple
b) purple
c) purple
d) purple
e) purple

Oooohhh so pretty right?

And here's my dress (wrap not shown):

For the flower girls.
Jana, you have darling taste. :)

PS Congrats on your engagement to James and your brand new house in Maple freaking Grove (that's 50 minutes from Shakopee, you better visit - pack a lunch).

xooox, marla