Friday, February 27, 2009

LOST on the Brain

  • Today in Big Lots an announcement was made over the intercom: "Sayid, please report to your register, Sayid"
  • The other day in a company meeting, we were talking about the DARPA conference. I was worried about slipping and calling it DHARMA by mistake.

  • Jorge's blog. (Hurley) Entertaining, spit out your gum funny. See Peeps post for Exhibit A.

  • The cake that was made for the 100th episode. YUM.

    • I. Just. Can't. Help. Myself.

      Thursday, February 26, 2009

      Job of the Week #1: There's Something About Babies...

      I've always thought it would be fun to try out a million different jobs at some point in my lifetime. They are all very diverse, with some of them downright insane, but I'd still like to try them.

      For my first make believe job, I would like to be....
      a baby photographer.


      Calling all stuffing!

      Mi favorito!

      Made in China.


      Why would I want to do this? Because it looks fun.
      Because I could be really creative with those babies.
      Because I would have an assistant/intern who would answer when I shout "We need another 200 twinkies, stat!"
      Because this job is sans cubical.

      Wednesday, February 25, 2009

      Shopaholic: It made me want to buy a green scarf

      Looks like I am not alone.

      And looks like you can actually buy one soon.


      • An actual PG movie. That's not a cartoon.
      • Hugh Dancy.
      • Isla Fisher doing the "fan dance".


      • Made me want to buy a green scarf.
      • I snort-laughed during the fan dance scene.
      • Fairly predictable.
      But in the end, it was just a sweet little movie with a handsome boy, good kissing, shopping and a happy ending. Who could ask for more.

      Tuesday, February 24, 2009

      That Little Green Ring Goes a Long, Long Way

      Grandpa: Tease, tease, tease

      Marla: blah blah blah Stupid blah blah
      *Jake, immediately stops what he's doing and exclaims*:
      Marla, what did you just say?!!!
      Marla: Sorry sorry sorry sorry!!

      Main Entry:
      \ˈker-ik-tər, ˈka-rik-\
      Function: noun

      7 a: a person marked by notable or conspicuous traits "quite a character".

      Jana: Come over here and give me a big hug.
      *Jana squeezes a little too hard.*
      Jake: Ouuuuchhh Jana - you hurt me with your big hug!

      Monday, February 23, 2009

      I Simply Remember My Favorite Things

      • Cherry blossom themes on gmail. Click account settings, themes, and wah-lah. How pretty!

      • The new double chocolate cookie at Great Harvest. Hubba Hubba.

      • Salmon romaine salad with chipotle dressing, grilled asparagus, green onions, red pepper, carrot shavings, and celery.

      • Oatmeal, the real stuff - not the instant, with fresh strawberries and bananas, milk & brown sugar a la Keys cafe style (and if you are going there, try their buckwheat pancakes or their eggs benedict).

      • My "once was lost now is found" GRATITUDE journal.

      • Quotes. My latest favorite: "Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn" - Harriet Beecher Stowe

      • Packages in the mail and real letters.

      • Seminary. For reals. Best. Thing. Ever.

      • Diet Coke with Lime. I wanna kiss the genius who invented it.

      • LOST. They quoted the New Testament on prime time national TV. Excerpt: "No longer was Jack the Doubting Thomas of the Caravaggio painting in Ms. Hawking's church. He had undergone what they call a ''Pauline'' conversion — named after the former persecutor of Christ, Saul, who beheld a vision of Jesus on the road to Damascus, became a believer, and renamed himself Paul — and I'd love to note that my most favorite painting in the world, ''The Conversion On The Road To Damascus,'' is also by Caravaggio."

      In case you were wondering, here's what that famous picture looks like:

      PS Just one tiny thing I'm not grateful for - Blogger's formatting. ARGH!

      Friday, February 20, 2009

      My New Fav Six Dolla T's

      Click here at your own risk to order shirts. Note, I do not approve of many shirts on this website. Wait... where are you going... I bet you are looking at all the inappropriate shirts now, aren't you. Stop it already!

      Ferris, I always knew you would recover.
      For Alicia. The girl who's secretly dying bust a move at any moment.
      Because it was really the Oregon trail that taught me everything I know about budgeting and not that annoying Suzie Ormond lady.
      For Reva & Jeff, who always have tons of megafun in their van.
      Back to the Future made my 80's so special.
      What's UP DOG?!! ha ha ha
      Because this is nicer than I see stupid people.
      Because the song that says "She couldn't wait another day for the Captain of her Heart" makes me crack up when I'm in the grocery store.
      Because I'm Czech. And being Czech is cool.
      For a BYU Cougar jock. Because they are on the hunt.
      The ultimate winner: What about Bob Tee. Because that's the kinda phase I'm in right now.

      Wednesday, February 18, 2009

      I'm in LOVE...

      with the Cubicaller! I think this ranks right up there with the Slanket.

      Cheers: "Quack Quack" sound effect (way to think outside the cubical)
      Jeers: No Muppet soundtrack. Boo!

      Tuesday, February 17, 2009

      What about Bob?

      Bob Wiley: Mrs. M., this corn is simply scrumptious. Is it hand-shucked?
      Olesya had never seen the movie What about Bob. For me, this is like sinning. It's a sin to not see this movie. She repented as she watched it. I made sure to show her the part where Bob is eating dinner with Dr. Leo Marvin's family. And I said, Look Olesya, this is you eating at my family's house last night. She was mortifed but really she should have been flattered. I mean, who wouldn't want to be like Bob Wiley? MMMMmmmm.... Mmmmm..... Mmmmmm!!!
      My mom's lovely raspberry salad.

      Little Amy Larson! No longer a Larson. What a beautiful wedding. I love this picture of her. It was 19 degrees out with a cold, blustery wind but love kept them warm (I just threw up in my mouth a little).
      Here is Jeff, Matthew (I heart his style - blue ruffle shirt and awesome General Authority glasses) and Olesya.
      This is Olesya taking away my turle chocolate cake at Cafe Latte. I think next time she comes to town I'm going to take her to White Castle. A After a couple of sliders, I'll take her to the MOA and we'll go on the Sponge Bob Square Pants ride. That'll teach her to mess with my cake.

      This was happy Marla. Before the Great Cake Takeover.

      And this is a view of Olesya's purse during church. Hmmm... I wonder who should take away something from someone now...

      Don't worry, she shared with me. Chocolate (especially good chocolate) makes church much more delicious.

      We had yummy cinnamon bread french toast with strawberries and raspberries for breakfast with my fabulous new green retro dishes (TJ Maxx is my zen).

      It was a fabulous weekend. Olesya is now back in New York, missing Minnesota. She can't go on and on about the stars or the fresh air or the large department stores. She will be hustling and bustling, somehow managing to "tolerate" Rockefeller center, delicious cheesecake around the clock, the Brooklyn Bridge and of course the Muppet factory at FAO Schwartz. The grass is always greener! Until next time dear Olesya!

      Sunday, February 15, 2009

      Truly Classic

      This girl is a genius. Really she is. I want to buy all of her t-shirts. Unfortunately all the ones from above are sold out.

      I will just have to look at the graphics to console myself.

      Friday, February 13, 2009

      Winter Carnival: Beautiful St. Paul, Minnesota

      Here we have classic Minnesota. Gives a whole new meaning to ice fishing.
      Can you guess this one? Here's a hint: Cheshire Cat.
      Throne of Ice. Next year I'm requesting a cushion.
      Cute Len & Victoria.
      Mr. Pototo head! My kind of quirky. A petition for the Muppets has already been started.

      A winter carnival wouldn't be a carnival without an ice sculpture of the First Supper now would it.
      "A friend is one to whom one can pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keeping what is worth keeping, and, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away" - Arabian Proverb

      What Not To Say... to a Cop.

      You'd think I'd have this down. I mean really. How many times have I been pulled over? Let's not count. How many parents do I need to be x-cops? Evidently more than one. Yet I still manage to say incredibly stupid things. It's a constant with me, my talent as of late.

      Cut to flashing lights (note to self, do not type that phrase into google ever.ever. again):

      Officer: Do you know how fast you were going? Side note: Why the CRAP do they ask you that? What's the purpose. I wanna know!

      Luckily this time I didn't lie or pretend I didn't know. Maybe it was due to the lesson in seminary that morning on Ananias and Saphira. You know what happened when they lied in Acts Chapter 5? They kicked the bucket, cashed in, gave up the ghost, bit the dust, croaked, or my favorite 'yep, she dead'. Moral of the story: Lie and you die.

      I much prefer the moral of LOST - Live Together or Die Alone. But that's another story. PS Sawyer and Jack, I love you, marry me, both of you, we can all live together in a bungalow in Maui.

      Back to the how fast were you going bullcrap question:

      Marla: 40

      Cop: Do you know what the speed limit is?

      Marla: 30.

      Maybe I should've said 45. Because that's possibly what his radar clocked me at... but if my Dad is reading this, he clocked me at 32.

      ---I just dropped dead and can't finish this post.---

      So the inevitable happened and I got a ticket. I wrote out the check. Put it in the envelope with the big red stripe across the front like the Scarlett Letter and I will mail it in...because that's the law.

      Wednesday, February 11, 2009

      Just In Time for Valentine's Day
      I found my man!

      I'm going to need a bit of work on the beer drinking, country girl (read redneck) and tattoo aspects. But heck, I've got the other two in the bag.

      Tuesday, February 10, 2009

      Speak Chinese To Me Baby

      What I learned yesterday in my Chinese class at work:

      Take a right turn
      Take a left turn
      Take me to the Howard Johnson hotel

      What I wish I would've learned:

      Where are the fake Coach purses?
      Am I eating cat?
      Does this t-shirt come in xtra large? Because all you people are size 0.

      Squeaky Clean Baby

      Sunday, February 8, 2009

      What Makes a Baby Laugh

      What cracks me up about this video is not Isaiah, it's Emily's strange panting noises and blblblblb-ing bizness. She was not aware that I was taping this. She will be a great mom with all those sound effect, dontcha think? I sure do.

      Saturday, February 7, 2009

      My New Favorite Jesus Picture

      The Ensign came last month.

      I flipped and read, flipped and read and flip flip flipped some more.

      Until the very last page... pause. And pause some more.

      Savior of the world.
      Sitting on mother's lap.
      How she loved him!
      Her sweet little boy.
      Her baby in a manger.

      Thursday, February 5, 2009

      Last Bit of Texas, For Reals

      Hula Hut Restaurant in Austin. Couldn't figure out if I was in Texas or Hawaii.
      A Greasy Spoon near San Antonio. It had shirts on the wall with lots of signatures. This particular shirt has been signed by all the missionaries who have been through the area.
      We took a little tour of the capital.
      Andy & Chade have three dogs. Three. However, they were very very nice. Tess, Izzie & ... can't remember the third one so we'll call him Rufus.
      Andy's fancy office. Doesn't he look serious?
      I tried to steal the receptionist's job. I kick butt at answering phones.

      Sadly, I don't have a picture of the Whole Foods store that was ginormous or a picture of the lemon filled raspberry cupcake with chiffon frosting that I ate in the back seat of the Lexus without spilling a drop.