So this blog is to announce that LOUD TYPER GUY is now Lost & Gone Forever (Random - I heart Guster). Why you ask? Because one day, in the heat of another one of his FREAKING LOUD TYPING TANGENTS, I marched over there and said in a very nice, controlled voice 'Hey - do you mind if I order you another keyboard?' and he turned to me and said Why? Do I type loud? And I said Well - yes you do. And he said Ok - fine by me. A few minutes later he comes over to my desk and says 'Just don't get me the ergonomic kind' just as I'm emailing my cube neighbor on instant messaging that I FINALLY COULD HEAR MYSELF THINK because I had confronted the loud typist. I'm hoping he didn't see my screen.
Since I can't put a soundbite of 'the before with the old keyboard and after with the new fan-cee keyboard' on the blog - I will type the way it sounded:
DFKSLDJFLbangSKDJFLKSJDLbangFKJEOWIRUELKCMXKbangFJLEKEAOREWbangOIDJSFLKD FLADFKSdouble bang with almost syncopated rhythmLDJWEOR8ULbangCXKJFLKbangbang!!
What? Does anyone hear typing? Barely!!
The only issue I am left with now is that people walk by and see his fancy keyboard (yes, we're talking FAN-cee) and they say Why did you get a new keyboard? And then he points to me and says in a self-righteous voice Marla said I type too loud.
My new nickname is Keyboard Nazi. Somebody call Seinfeld. It could be a great episode for him. I just wish I had said something sooner.
Moral of the story: The loudest typer gets the coveted expensive soft touch wireless keyboard.