Thursday, February 28, 2008

20+ things that make me SMILE


The guy that fixed my favorite boots at Famous Footwear. My feet will be forever grateful.

When Amy Poehler acts like Caitlin, the six year old hyper spaz on SNL.

My co-worker and I chose the word "butthead" as our password to get into our department's vacation calendar.

Veggie burgers from Costco with organic Heinz ketchup.

YAMS with olive oil, cinnamon, and brown sugar baked in the oven.

My guys in DSP – with all their formulas, pensive faces and analytical emails.

A cafeteria at work with options such as vegetarian filled zucchini, mahi mahi (why isn't one mahi enough for that fish?) tacos, and corn doggies (I'm quoting - it really says doggie on the menu).

Instant messenger.

Creamy hot oatmeal with plump raisins.

My cube neighbor who says random things...
"Have you seen the movie Clockwatchers?"
"They should call those meals Stupid Ones instead of Smart Ones"
"I am working on Steve Martin's hearing aids!"

Running the Valentine's day 5k with Jana and Cheryl and then loading up with pink frosted cookies that I shoved in my pocket.

Thumbs up from the little foreign intern with the mustache. Made my day.

Finding a magazine in the office entitled – Finding the Best Wood to Chop with your Chain Saw – with a man with a mustache and a big red and black flannel shirt on the cover.

Maui. Swim suits that don't make me look fat. Sandals. Capris. My fun beach hats!

That our new contractor looks like M. Night Shyamalan.

Smart board presentation – you can draw lines with smileys, rainbows, or daisies. And you can move things around on the board like in Minority Report.

The manager who stops by to tell me random stories about how he took apart his son's water bed or how his son's friend met Ashton Kutcher because they wanted him on Beauty and the Geek.

All things LOST.

Sock monkeys.

The memory of me tying my sister to the bunkbed with kite string when she was sleeping. I still don't know why my mom got so worked up. I would've let her out eventually.

Just the thought of Chloe (age 2) throwing a fit because she didn't want to leave Chuck E. Cheese.

Jacob (age 4) calling me at work and leaving a message for me on Valentine's day.



Monday, February 25, 2008

Movie & TV Reviews

Movies:

Across the Universe. The opening number was compelling until I got really uncomfortable because he stares straight into the camera without blinking for a very long period of time. I admit it – I shielded my eyes. Other than that - what was the acid trip they had going on? The music was classic (Beatles) but my gosh I'm glad I'm not a pot-smoking Hippie. Depressing.

Becoming Jane. Snoozefest. Maybe I just wasn't in the mood for Austen. Sometimes those movies require too much concentration with all their prim and proper lingo and distracting names like Willoughby.

No Reservations. Not only was the romance lacking a spark to light a fire to cook any sort of dish, the food didn't even look that great. For more exciting entertainment get cable and watch Top Chef.

The Jane Austen Book Club. Captivating. Probably because of Hugh Dancy, my newest crush, who lit up the screen with his scruffy young & sincere charm. And the fact that he liked an older woman – loved it. I can't wholeheartedly recommend this movie without fast-forwarding certain scenes that made me want to puke. But OH! The thing going on with Grigg and Jocelyn –there was just something so sweet about it. He somehow was able to look past her bitterness and over her huge freaking wall (can’t relate to that in the least) and she was somehow able to look past his crazy schemes and bike shorts. True love!!

Favorite quotes:

“Jane Austen is a freaking land mine!” – Jocelyn, in the club discussing all the Austen characters drama.

Grigg Harris: Isn't physical attraction one of the ungovernable forces? You know like gravity, that's what we like about it. Down hill, release the brakes and then whoosh!

Jocelyn: You know what I'm wondering before I go? How do you feel about older women? Grigg Harris: Ah, great. I have three older sisters, so I like all women.

Jocelyn: If we stay in this lane, we're going to be late. Grigg Harris: Given that I have to convert donut grease into biofuel every time I fill up the tank, I try not to drive very fast. Jocelyn: We're barely moving... Why are you getting off here? Grigg Harris: I enjoy seeing the river. Jocelyn: What are you, Mark Twain? Now we're gonna get stuck at every light.

“And he squashed her.” – Jocelyn, going off about how women get the bad end of the deal referring to when Willoughby picked the rich lady over his true love.
“She picked the wrong guy.” - Grigg

TV:
American Idol. That kid David, the 17 year old, is awesome! The John Lennon song was fabulous. I think it's because he is so honest and pure and people love to see wholesome goodness - which is definitely not something you see very often in Hollywood. And oh my gosh – he’s Mormon! Which explains the glow! Go David! http://www.deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,695254151,00.html

Lost. This is the kind of show that totally disturbs me to my very core, yet I have to watch it anyway. It keeps me up at night -- wondering. My co-worker explained what your speech pattern is like during an episode – “Oh my gosh! No way! Wow…” In no particular order and is usually repeated several times. I keep trying to figure it out and then I realize, they aren’t real people and it’s not a real place. Disappointing is hardly the word to describe it but I’m undeniably hooked.

Bones. The show was really great last season. I loved the thing going on between Angela and Hodgins. And then this season just got really weird. I’m hoping for the best but I’m not holding my breath.

Big Brother. Yes, I’m embarrassed to admit it. The entire show is a travesty but I confess that I flip past the channel and pause for only short moments of time. So really, it doesn't count. Wow those people are freaks!

The Bachelor. Ok I realize it’s all going downhill from here and I’m losing credibility at a rapid pace but seriously people – tv shows these days are all about the BLOG. Jenny, Karen, Cheryl, Lucinda, Tracy and I have had many laughs over the eccentricities of this show. We have gathered on Karen’s big giant comfy bed and just cackled for an hour straight. All in good fun. Here’s the blog that is my favorite – this girl is hysterical. Her line - "it's all about the shame".
www.thebachelorrecaps.blogspot.com

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Top 10 Reasons Emily and Dan are MFEO

For those of you who are not Sleepless in Seattle fans (#1 what is wrong with you, #2 go rent it this very minute) it stands for Made For Each Other. Here is goes.

10 They love to travel.

9 They've gone to a single Travis concert and somehow managed to meet the band.

8 They don't like TV. I don't get it (we'll talk later guys, I need to hook you on a few shows).

7 They speak Spanish incredibly well. And say things like El burro sabe mas que tu - oh no, wait that's me (translation: The donkey knows more than you do).

6 They went to the best mission in the world (not California -don't tell my mission president) Argentina! Ole!

5 They seem to really like each other and it isn't wearing off. Emily has lots of cheesy stories -trust me. Ask Dan about the Cold Hands Warm Heart story. Seriously.

4 They both enjoy the element of surprise. And just come home with Emily wearing a ring. Until Marla says WHAT THE CRAP IS ON YOUR FINGER? EMILY ARE YOU ENGAGED? And then they just smile.

3 They are both super churchy and righteous and would never go to Taco Bell on Sunday.

2 Dan eats Emily's cooking and says it's good (Em - I'm just saying. Remember the episode of lemon chicken on Everybody Loves Raymond?).

1 They think this list is SO darn cool that they don't expect a wedding present! (just kidding - it will be a good present - think movies... with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks)

Saturday, February 23, 2008

What's in Marla's Bag

Since no one has interviewed me yet like they do with celebrities in 17 Magazine (have they not seen my Mitt Romney video - HELLO!), I've taken it upon myself to write down my favorite beauty products. It's taken a lot of years to discover them. I hope they have make-up and accessories and chocolate in heaven. If not, I don't think I can make it.
  • Mary Kay eye makeup remover. Oil free. (Thank you Jill Jensen- it's my favorite)

  • Lauren Hutton mascara. Thank you very much Mama as I know you ordered it off TV which really cracks me up but I love it! Lauren Hutton facedisk with all the makeup in one super large compact (my sisters make fun of me when I use it)

  • Mary Kay revitalizing mask - the green kind that makes you look freaky but it's worth it

  • Bigelow mentha lip tint or no tint from Bath and Bodyworks. It's yummy and pretty. Thank you very much Jenny Wilson!

  • Mac lipstick - current color is midimauve

  • Mary Kary Apricot Glaze - finally, a color perfect for redheads

  • Burts Beeswax - introduced to me by my darling friend Alicia - regular and lip shimmer

  • A good brush set - cheek, eyebrow, and eyelid

  • Foundation that smells like cake batter. I used it along time ago and haven't been able to find it since. If you know what I'm talking about - EMAIL ME

  • Coconut Lime hand wash from Bath & Bodyworks

  • Vanilla frosting Bonnie Bell lip gloss. Thank you very much Tracy Grant!

  • Neutragena Rainbath - Awakening - orange color

  • Bedhead Shampoo Moisture Maniac - smells wonderful

  • Aveda Custom control - smells great and you can move your hair after you put it in

Long live the beauty world. It might just survive because I'm supporting it whole-heartedly.

I just got my 3.50 off coupon from Ulta - see you later!

Friday, February 22, 2008

In Charge of the World

My sweet mama used to read to me as a kid. She started bringing us to the library at a very young age and I have so enjoyed reading. I just love books. A particular childhood favorite was stumbled upon this morning - a poem by Judith Viorst.

If I Were In Charge of the World
If I were in charge of the world
I'd cancel oatmeal,Monday mornings,Allergy shots, and also Sara Steinberg. If I were in charge of the world there'd be brighter nights lights,healthier hamsters, and basketball baskets forty eight inches lower. If I were in charge of the world you wouldn't have lonely.You wouldn't have clean.You wouldn't have bedtimes.Or "Don't punch your sister."You wouldn't even have sisters. If I were ian charge of the world a chocolate sundae with whipped cream and nuts would be a vegetable, all 007 movies would be G, and a person who sometimes forgot to brush, and sometimes forgot to flush,would still be allowed to be... in charge of the world.
by Judith Viorst

And now - my turn!

If Marla Were In Charge of the World

I’d kick Jane Fonda off the island.

Conference talks would be put to rap music so I could stay awake at the gym.

Reruns of Dawson’s creek would be on instead of stupid Sex and the City (let's kick 'sarah jessica i'm so cool i have two first names parker' off the island too).

Jim Henson's birthday would be nationally recognized and we would watch the Muppet movies all day long.

Cupcakes would be a vegetable.

There would be no text messaging – ever.

Instead of stores like Costco, there would be stores for single people who just want one serving of something. And then you’d get an incredible discount for being single.

All movies with Matt Damon would be PG13 and PG.

Mean people would have to pay more taxes.

The work day would be 9 – 2 with a 2 hour lunch.

Tivo would be free of charge to anyone with a TV.

Movies would cost 2.00 – even at nighttime.

Keyboards would be silent so I could get some work done in my cube.

New York and Utah would be on either side of Minnesota.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

I Heart Cupcakes


You'll be proud to know that today, during a whirlwind shopping trip, I passed up the 38 serving size bag of peanut M&M's at Costco. I'm not sure where that will power came from, but I'm grateful for the brief appearance.


Did you ever wonder what happened to the guy on those Quaker Oats commercials? You know, the guy with the gray hair and the fuzzy mustache with the bowl of steaming hot oatmeal? Well I found him. He works at the Eden Prairie Costco at the photo department. He was a little annoyed with me when I picked up my NYC pictures because I couldn't remember how I had entered my name. But don't worry, I got them. They will be on here soon. As soon as I can find my stupid camera cord.


It's warming up! It will be 30 by this weekend! Last week I heard something strange coming from a tree in my parking lot at work. It was a whistling type of sound. And then I marveled. It was a bird. A bird was singing in the below zero temperatures. Some crazy bird. Some crazy happy bird oblivious to the nas-D wanna rip your hair out bite you in the butt weather. I wanna be like that bird!! So as of now - no complaining about the weather. I'll spare the singing and leave that to the birds.


22 days. Take that Minnesota. (That's not a complaint, just an observation. Minnesota, please don't be offended - I really do love you most of the time.)

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Random

Kisses. Blowing kisses and catching them. My new favorite thing about Chloe and Jacob. They actually catch the kisses.

I love KS95 radio show in the morning called US Senseless Bureau. They call up random businesses and try to get them to answer some really stupid questions. Most of the time, the people hang up on this poor guy. Some of my favorites: When you put Pam in a frying pan, does she scream? What do chickens think WE taste like? Are your day to day conversations being cut short due to the writer's strike? http://www.ks95.com/morning.shtml Go to Personalities - Greg and Melissa. Scroll down to Greg's Senseless Bureau.

I love the free itunes song of the week. It's nice. Hometown Glory is now in my ipod thanks to apple. Disclaimer: Sometimes the free song can be kind of freaky.

I love when people leave useful information on my cell phone. Like why they are calling, and what I need to do, in a really suscint and quick message. And it's especially nice when they leave me a number that they slow down and say 'doo doo doooooo go get a pencil' so I can find something to write with and get the number before listening to the message 5 times.

Listening to a radio commerical during Valentine's day. Nothing says 'I love you' like a Botox package. Seriously. How twisted are we getting here people?

My co-workers are really interesting people. There's the guy who runs everywhere. I haven't asked him if he's late... though maybe he just likes to run. The co-worker WHO POUNDS ON HIS FREAKING KEYBOARD ALL DAY LONG. Everyone seems to know about this habit except him. Sometimes my cubemate and I make fun of him and TYPE REALLY LOUD on our keyboards too. Except we aren't really typing, just banging. And what about the guy who keeps a tupperware container FULL of peanut M&Ms. Does he eat them? Does he just fill up the container on a regular basis when I'm not looking? Or is there self-control involved? Oh yeah and there's the guy who laughs like a donkey. That kind of laughter is more contagious than annoying. And I can't forget to mention the guy who sneezes SO loud you can hear him from all the way down the hall. Man - I thought my dad sneezed the loudest.


Anne Taintor. Anything with her stuff in it is hilarious. Her postcards are my new favorite.



The songs on the radio in the a.m. Today it was "Staying Alive" which has brought new meaning into my life when the wind chill is -27.


And lastly - a little shout out to Dan and Emily. I'm still working on the Top 10 reasons Dan and Emily are MFEO (Made for Each Other). Stay tuned.

My Maui


Ahhh...Hawaii take me away. Forget about the Calgon.
24 more days.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Scratch and Sniff!



Oh! Why didn't I keep my old sticker collection?



Thursday, February 14, 2008

True Love - Happy Valentine's Day!

In a recent message of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir’s Music and the Spoken Word, a story was told about an elderly man and woman who had been married for many decades. Because the wife was slowly losing her sight, she could no longer take care of herself the way she had done for so many years. Without being asked, the husband began to paint her fingernails for her.

“He knew that she could see her fingernails when she held them close to her eyes, at just the right angle, and they made her smile. He liked to see her happy, so he kept painting her nails for more than five years before she passed away.”14

That is an example of the pure love of Christ. Sometimes the greatest love is not found in the dramatic scenes that poets and writers immortalize. Often, the greatest manifestations of love are the simple acts of kindness and caring we extend to those we meet along the path of life.

True love lasts forever. It is eternally patient and forgiving. It believes, hopes, and endures all things. That is the love our Heavenly Father bears for us.

http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,49-1-775-10,00.html

Monday, February 11, 2008

Laughing is good. Here are a few of my favorites.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6qH_-0fY_Y&feature=related

Yes, I know Tom Cruise is an idiot - but this interview was so funny and he was so good looking...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNvHxdn0zE4&feature=related

This one is from my new favorite bloopers show called Just for Laughs. I wish I could find the one Jana and I nearly peed our pants watching but this one will have to do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3Rw_3ky-uo

And this one - the classic laughing babies. I love YouTube! I've been looking for this clip for years!

Lord of something.... I just don't know what...

Can I just say that if I would’ve seen this picture before going to the performance that I would’ve missed out on a whole lotta tacky…. A WHOLE lotta tacky.

Jenny and I decided that we should attend the performance at the Orpheum called Lord of the Dance. Evidently it is supposed to be an offshoot of Riverdance, written by Michael Flatley. After viewing the "performance" I might say that it would be both an insult and a travesty to compare the two in the same sentence.

However, saving grace, the 65 dollar price of admission was almost worth it due to the giggling and making fun of the people who attended this.

A few highlights:

The women ahead of us with feathered hair and tight jeans, straight out of the bar (or the 70’s, it’s a toss up).

The 95 year old emaciated woman on the left of us clapping until her head almost fell off. Cardiac arrest would be so tragic at something so bad.

The strange flute solos. The breaking of the flute. And the audience almost giving a standing ovation for the flute being magically repaired. (Insert Jim Halpert face here)

The man a few rows ahead of dressed in some type of outside work jacket and a bright fluorescent green ball cap sporting the name ‘Artic Cat’.

The 80’s freak-out ultra bright yellow pink and green costume zone during the second hour of the show. WHAT was that? Michael Flatley - what acid trip were you on?

I can’t make this stuff up people.

Lord of the Dance was more than I bargained for. In oh so many ways. What a memorable night. Jenny – you and I are Lord of the Dance friends forever. J

Friday, February 8, 2008

Little Blue Shoes

I’ve been reading books on adoption. Curling up in my bed after work and reading entire books. The subject has always been fascinating to me. In college at Utah State, I completed a six month internship at what was then LDS Social Services. While the memories are faint, there are some things that are vivid - moments I will never forget. The two books out of the stack of eight that I chose to read were personal stories of adoption. Stories of individuals who traveled far and wide to adopt a child. It’s fascinating to me. What draws them to that particular country? What makes them feel like something is missing? Why do they go to such lengths to adopt a child?

I read two books worth mentioning. Forever Lily is about a woman who went with a friend to China to adopt a baby. Her friend ended up deciding to not adopt her and suddenly she knew the child was supposed to be hers. I loved the cover of the book - little blue shoes. It was a very captivating read and very heart-felt. She dedicated her book to 'the ones left behind'.

Saving Levi talks about an infant who was badly burned and left to die in a field. A Chinese man rescued him and then he was turned over to a couple from America. They helped him heal - along with an entire team of doctors, nurses & multiple surgeries.

The book contained a beautiful quote from Donald Miller:

And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter.... my hope is your story will be about changing... about learning to love a child... about learning to love others more than we love ourselves... we get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it? And you will not be alone… you have never been alone. Don't worry, everything will still be here when you get back it is you who will have changed.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Friday, February 1, 2008

The Valentine's KitKat



THIS IS BREAKING NEWS PEOPLE!

Yes - they actually have a kitkat for Valentine's Day. They have hearts on them. How sweet.

You buy one for your BFF, split it in half and then you eat the other half.

I think that's madness. How about buy 5, give them 2 and then you eat the rest.